Weight: 229.0 (-2.2)
Fat: 36.5.0% (-2.8%)
Meals: Not available
Exercise: Light Cardio (Treadmill 30:00 WL2 - 216 calories, 1.52 miles)
Pictures: Front/Side/Back

I've been up to my ears in research. What foods to eat, what kinds of exercise, overall approaches to weight loss and fitness. The more I learn the less I feel I know (a recurring theme in my life). But despite all this research, I think the number one, absolutely most important factor in the success or failure of a weight loss program is motivation. Sadly, after you've done with your weight loss, motivation is still necessary to maintain your current weight.

In the past my motivation fell into one of two general categories:

  1. Guilt - "I need to live a healthier/better lifestyle." Sometimes this was a personal realization, but usually it was someone pushing me to be healthier. The only thing worse than guilt over getting fat is guilt about failing to work out or stick to your diet.
  2. Anger - "How the hell did I get so fat?" Anger and frustration can be powerful motivating tools, especially for weight loss. Being fired up helps you push through some of those tough workouts, and avoiding temptations is easier when you can yell at yourself for failing.

Do you see the problem with those two motivators? I'll give you a hint: it's the same exact problem.

If you haven't figured it out, both of those motivators have a built in expiration. After losing 20 pounds, are you going to feel guilty about rewarding yourself with a tasty treat or letting yourself skip a workout? When you start to get compliments on your progress from coworkers and friends are you going to be angry with yourself for putting on weight?

Even worse, negative emotions such as those wax and wane depending on what's going on in your life, outside of your weight loss or fitness goals. Sure you feel guilty about skipping that workout, but it is really enough to stop you from finding an excuse not to, especially when it's so busy at work? Are you really going to feel angry at yourself for enjoying a big dinner to celebrate your friend's birthday party?

Finding motivation is the biggest struggle for folks looking to make long term changes in their body. Everyone starts out strong, there's tough talk all around, we're committed to changing our lives forever! This time, we're going to do it right, we're not going to cave in to temptation, we're not going to be too lazy to work out. Only the weak fail and we're strong enough to do it this time.

Yet it's amazing how quickly it all breaks down. Maybe you only made it a couple weeks. Maybe you made it a few months and really started to see progress. But you miss a workout. It was a perfectly valid reason. You promise yourself it'll be the last time and vow to get back up on that horse! And then at work they have a big catered meeting with the corporate types from out of town and they have all that super yummy food and you can always work out later.

Suddenly workouts are at the bottom of your priority list. Now tracking your calories or planning your meals seems so time consuming. You cut corners, promise yourself that you'll do better soon. For me the process took maybe a week on average from the first slip to total shutdown. And then I spend several months promising myself I'll start back soon, I just need to get a few things in order, or maybe get the eating out of my system.

As bad as that scenario is, you might be one of the few who achieves their goals, crosses the finish line and now the motivation evaporates. You did what you said you would, you sacrificed so much to get there, depriving yourself. Yes, I want to keep this figure I've worked so hard for. But... I can eat a little more now and I've certainly earned that doughnut in the break room. Good lord, it's Krispy Kreme after all.

Sliding back into old patterns and behaviors, you spend a bit of time in denial, you bargain a little bit. If you're lucky you start the next cycle of diet and exercise before you reach or even exceed your old weight. Is this the beginning of another yo-yo pattern or the inevitable return to being fat and out of shape?

It's depressing how easy it is to lose control. All that hard work, pissed away in a few moments of weakness. How can you possibly prevent it from happening? Even worse are the number of articles and books coming out that tell you "This is the way you are, accept it." Or the well meaning people who believe that accepting who you are means accepting that you're fat and unhealthy and unhappy when you know that isn't the real you.

So what's the secret to staying motivated? Well, there is none, or rather the secret is different for every person. I personally don't respond well to "rewards". A tropical vacation, a new TV or computer, a better car, finally watching that new movie you've been so anxious to see. Nor do I respond well to denying things to myself. No television until I reach a certain weight, no more playing that game you love until you work out every day for a month. Even as I told myself "nothing but water until I get below 200" I added the "or until 2011" because I knew that denying myself those delicious sweet teas would be enough to motivate me properly.

I'm also not the type of person who writes inspirational messages to myself on my mirror, or pastes my face onto the body of someone else that I want to look like. Repeating a mantra has no effect whatsoever. I'm not by nature a super-over-the-top-positive person, so telling myself that "I think I can, I think I can" just rings hollow.

After some deep soul searching I realize the most powerful motivating factor in my life is my enormous sense of responsibility and commitment. They're not perfect... but my sense of doing the right thing, of sticking to something that I've promised to someone else, helps me overcome a lot of adversity.

When I succeeded with boot camp, it wasn't because I wanted to finish it. I didn't show up every day because I was punishing myself for getting fat. My desire to get skinny wasn't enough to drag my ass there every evening, to log all my 5+ meals a day. It was the sense that I'd signed up to work out every day, to do the program. Even when my sweetheart, who suggested and pushed me to attend with her, was forced to stop due to a fracture in her shin, I stuck to it because it's what I said I would do.

I'm not sure "I said I would do it" is enough to keep me working out, or eating better. But I've made a similar commitment to update this website. I'll do so every day until a year after I've reached my goal weight. And even after I enter maintenance, I will continue to post every week to ensure that not only am I sticking with my program, but that I will continue to prove to others that it can be done.

Every person who follows this blog, friend or a stranger will help me to stick to that. Because although I'm doing this for me, my promise is to you, whether or not you read this. That's my motivation, what's yours?